I miss you so much
and I wish I could just tell you. And I wish things could just be perfect. And you could give me what I need and you would want to do the things I wanted to do. And I wish my parents loved you and I wish you were cool to hang out with my friends. And I wish you would visit me as much as I visited you. And I wish we could spend the weekends together at my lake house this summer, you never did get a chance to swim there or go on the boat.
And I just grieve all the things I wanted us to have but we never did.
I never gave up that we couldn’t have everything until the end. And sometimes its still hard for me to realize I need to give up even now. If we are ever meant to be together, now is not that time.
But there is no doubt in my mind that I love you. And I understand that getting over you is going to take a long time.
And while I embrace my youth and go out and drink and flirt and get numbers from other guys, I know that they’re not going to give me anything you gave me. Because even though there were things that I wanted and never got, you still gave me so much and I can’t forget that if I tried.
And I’m still in love with you and I’m worried I’ll never not be.
I just wish I could stop crying everytime I start thinking about you.